Home Monking the Grass
Monking the Grass PDF Print E-mail
Written by Heretic   
Wednesday, 03 June 2009 02:47

The university I attended did not want for anything.  St. John's University is in a remote location in Minnesota, so remote that they have their own town - Collegeville.  It's an all boys school (I know), but SJU is so awesome that some nuns decided to open a nunery just a few miles down the road and start a college for all girls (College of St. Benedict) so that the boys didn't get lonely.  Now the students are bussed between the two for classes at each campus so the classrooms are mixed genders (unless you go into computer science).

 

When I say that SJU does not want for anything I mean it.  They have a bible that's so awesome it's on tour, it takes up 4 volumes made of sheepskin (or maybe it's goatskin).  You can buy the pages online for hundreds of dollars.  SJU is also home to the worlds largest free standing bell tower, they spent almost a million on their pipe organ in the huge and beautiful church.  When you add sales of the bible to the huge endowments that the school gets to the ridiculous tuition that one pays for going there SJU has a lot of bank.

 

So why, I ask, does the grass at SJU suck?  Every year there are dead spots and spots that are roped off because seed is planted and it seems that they put more and more concrete down each year in an effort to have to maintain less grass.  If it was a highly trafficed area all year round then I wouldn't think twice about it.  But the students leave each year in May and don't come back until September, those are prime growing months for grass.  

 

It's not like the school is cheaping out on groundskeepers, I saw at least three different guys working the yard while I was there and they were working hard.  It took me a few minutes, but I came up with a theory as to why the grass is bad.  You see, every night after the grounds keepers go home and everyone else is asleep the Monks come out and in some kind of ritual that involves chanting and arm flailing they stomp all over it killing the good grass and destroying any attemp to seed new grass.

 

I know it sounds pretty obvious but I stayed awake at night quite a few times to try and catch them in the act and have yet to do so.  These monks are pretty clever.  Some day I'll get them.


Comments
Add New Search
Write comment
Name:
Email:
 
Website:
Title:
UBBCode:
[b] [i] [u] [url] [quote] [code] [img] 
 
 
:angry::0:confused::cheer:B):evil::silly::dry::lol::kiss::D:pinch:
:(:shock::X:side::):P:unsure::woohoo::huh::whistle:;):s
:!::?::idea::arrow:
 
Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.

!joomlacomment 4.0 Copyright (C) 2009 Compojoom.com . All rights reserved."

Last Updated on Monday, 15 June 2009 02:22
 
Copyright © 2009 Monking The Grass